Jokes » Aardvark jokes

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A man wanted a new aardvark so he looked through the classified ads. He phoned a number he found and an elderly lady answered. "How much are your aardvarks?" he asked. "They're L6 each, " came the reply. "Did you raise them yourself?" inquired the man. "Oh yes, " she said, "Yesterday they were only L5 each. "

Did you hear about the household appliance that eats ants and records TV shows?
It's the VCRdvard

How do ants hide from aardvarks?
They disguise themselves as uncles!

How do you define an aardvark?
Aan aanimal that resembles an aanteater!

How many aardvarks can ride on an elephant?
Six. . . three on the back and three in the trunk!

I've got a new aardvark. Would you like to play with him? I don't really know. I've heard it growling, it doesn't sound very friendly. Does it bite? That's what I want to find out.

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Two aardvarks watched in amazement as a firework flashed across the sky. 1st aardvark: Wow! I wish I could fly like that. 2nd aardvark: You would, if your tail was on fire.

What are the aardvark's favorite Beatle's songs?
It's Been an Aards Day's Night and I Want to Hold Your Ant!

What command does the aardvark give most often when he sails?
Snout about!

What did the aardvark say when he lost the race to the ant?
If you can't beat 'em, eat 'em!

What did the impatient waiter ask the gluttonous aardvark?
Is that your final ant, sir!

What do you call a boxing match between two aardvarks?
A snout bout!

What do you call a pickled aardvark?
A jarredvark!

What do you call a Polish aardvark?
A Polaark!

What do you call a thick-skinned aardvark?
A hardvark!

What do you call a three-footed aardvark?
A yardvark!

What do you call an aardvark astronaut?
A starredvark!

What do you call an aardvark good with a light saber?
A darthvark!

What do you call an aardvark in a frying pan?
A lardvark!

What do you call an aardvark outside Buckingham Palace?
A guardvark!

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