Jokes » Cannibal jokes

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"Well, children, " said the cannibal cooking teacher. "What did you make of the new English teacher?" "Burgers, ma'am. "

1st Cannibal: I don't know what to make of my boyfriend these days. 2nd Cannibal: How about a hotpot?

A cannibal chief was just about to stew his latest victim for dinner when the man protested, "You can't eat me? I'm the manager!" "Well, " said the cannibal, "soon you'll be a manager in chief. "

A cannibal son and his father are out looking for food. They are watching people walk down the street. The son suggested a particularly plump woman and the father rejected saying that she's too fatty. Later on the son asked about a very skinny woman. Again the father refused saying that she's to skinny. After a while the son pointed out a very attractive woman. " sure son" the father replied, drooling. "We'll take her home and eat you mother!"

A man is captured by cannibals, every day they poke him with spears and use his blood to wash down their food. Finally the guy calls the chief over and says, "Hey, you can kill me or you can eat me, but I'm tired of getting stuck for drinks!"

Cannibal Boy: I've brought a friend home for dinner. Cannibal Mom: Put him in the fridge and we'll have him tomorrow.

Cannibal: Mom, mom, I've been eating a missionary and I feel sick ! Mom: Well, you know what they say - you can't keep a good man down !

Cannibals capture three men. The men are told that they will be skinned and eaten and then their skin will be used to make canoes. Then they are each given a final request. The first man asks to be killed as quickly and painlessly as possible. His request is granted, and they poison him. The second man asks for paper and a pen so that he can write a farewell letter to his family. This request is granted, and after he writes his letter, they kill him saving his skin for their canoes. Now it is the third man's turn. He asks for a fork. The cannibals are confused, but it is his final request, so they give him a fork. As soon as he has the fork he begins stabbing himself all over and shouts, "To hell with your canoes!"

Did you hear about the cannibal family who were caught spying by the witch-doctor? They were given a right roasting.

Did you hear about the cannibal spider that ate his uncle's wife? He was an aunteater.

Did you hear about the cannibal who commited suicide? He got himself into a real stew.

Did you hear about the cannibal who joined the police force?
He said he wanted to grill his suspects.

Did you hear about the cannibal who went vegetarian?
He couldn't stop eating swedes.

Did you hear about the cannibals who captured a scrawny old hunter? It sure gave them something to chew over.

First Cannibal: "Have you seen the dentist?" Second Cannibal: "Yes, he filled my teeth at dinner time. "

First cannibal: Come and have dinner in our but tonight. Second cannibal: What are you having? First cannibal: Hard-boiled legs.

First cannibal: I can't find anything to eat! Second cannibal: But the jungle's full of people. First cannibal: Yes, but they're all very unsavory.

First cannibal: I don't know what to make of my husband these days. Second cannibal: How about a curry?

First cannibal: My wife's a tough old bird. Second cannibal: You should have left her in the oven for another half an hour.

First cannibal: We had burglars last night. Second cannibal: Did they taste good?

First cannibal: Who was that girl I saw you with last night?
Second cannibal: That was no girl, that was my supper !

First Cannibal: Who was that girl I saw you with last night? Second Cannibal: That was no girl, that was my supper.

How can you help a starving cannibal?
Give them a hand !

How can you help a starving cannibal? Give him a helping hand.

How did the cannibal turn over a new leaf? He became a vegetarian.

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