Jokes » Cowboy jokes
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A cowboy and a biker are on death row, and are to be executed on the same day. The day comes, and they are brought to the gas chamber. The warden asks the cowboy if he has a last request, to which the cowboy replies, "Ah shore do, wardn. Ah'd be mighty grateful if'n yoo'd play 'Achy Breaky Heart' fur me bahfore ah hafta go. " "Sure enough, cowboy, we can do that, " says the warden. He turns to the biker, "And you, biker, what's your last request?" "That you kill me first. " A man climbed over a fence into a field to pick some flowers. He noticed a bull nearby. Say, farmer. Is that bull safe? Well, he's a lot safer than you are right now! A police officer saw a man dressed as a cowboy in the street, complete with huge stetson hat, spurs, and six shooters. "Excuse me, sir, " said the police officer, "who are you?" "My name's Tex, officer, " said the cowboy. " eh?" said the police officer, "Are you from Texas?" "Nope, Louisiana. " "Louisiana? So why are you called Tex?" "Don't want to be called Louise, do I . A summer visitor asked the farmer how long cows should be milked. "Oh, I reckon about the same as short ones!" the farmer answered. Back in the Old West three Texas cowboys were about to be hung for cattle rustling. The lynch mob brought the three men to a tree right at the edge of the Rio Grande. The idea was that when each man had died, they'd cut the rope and he'd drop into the river and drift out of sight They put the first cowboy in the noose, but he was so sweaty and greasy he slipped out, fell in the river and swam to freedom. They tied the noose around the second cowboy's head. He, too, oozed out of the rope, dropped into the river and got away. As they dragged the third Texan to the scaffold, he resisted, "Please! Would yaw'l tighten that noose a little bit? I can't swim!" Camper: Look at that bunch of cows. Farmer: Not bunch, herd. Camper: Heard what?Farmer: Of cows. Camper: Sure I've heard of cows. Farmer: No, I mean a cowherd. Camper: So what? I have no secrets from cows!
Cow: Why don't you shoo those flies? Bull: I'll let them go barefoot! Cowboy Joe was telling his fellow cowboys back on the ranch about his first visit to a big-city church. "When I got there, they had me park my old truck in the corral, " Joe began. "You mean the parking lot, " interrupted Charlie, a more worldly fellow. "I walked up the trail to the door, " Joe continued. "The sidewalk to the door, " Charlie corrected him. "Inside the door, I was met by this dude, " Joe went on. "That would be the usher, " Charlie explained. "Well, the usher led me down the chute, " Joe said. "You mean the aisle, " Charlie said. "Then, he led me to a stall and told me to sit there, " Joe continued. "Pew, " Charlie retorted. "Yeah, " recalled Joe. "That's what that pretty lady said when I sat down beside her. " Did you hear about the farmer who lost control of his tractor in the cow pasture? No! Did he hurt the cows? No, he just grazed them! Did you hear about the snobby cow?She thought she was a cutlet above the rest!
Does running out of a burning barn make a cow unusual? No, only medium rare! How did cows feel when the branding iron was invented?They were very impressed!
How did that bullfight come out? Oh, it was a toss-up! How did the calf's final exam turn out? Grade A! How did the farmer find his lost cow? He tractor down How do bulls drive their cars? They steer them! How do you make a milkshake?Give a cow a pogo stick.
How does a cow do math? With a cowculator! How to you know that cows will be in heaven?It's a place of udder delight.
I can't decide whether to buy a bicycle or a cow for my farm. Well, wouldn't you look silly riding a cow? I'd look a darn sight sillier trying to milk a bicycle! I hear you take milk baths. That's right. Why? I can't find a cow tall enough for a shower! I've just discovered a method for making wool out of milk! But doesn't that make the cow feel a little sheepish? If a cowboy rides into town on Friday and three days later leaves on Friday, how does he do it? The horse's name is Friday! If you crossed a cow with a goat, what would you get? Half and half! If you crossed a cow with Michael Jackson, what song would you get? "Beeflt!"Page: 1 :: 2 :: 3 :: 4 :: 5 :: 6 :: 7 :: 8