Jokes » Dentist jokes

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"Did you get your money?" ask the wife of the dentist who had just return from the delinquent patient's home. "Not a cent, " growled the dentist, "and worse than that, he insulted me, and gnashed my teeth at me!"

"I am sorry, madam, but I shall have to charge you hundred dollars for pulling your boy's tooth. " "Hundred dollars! Why, I understood you to say that you charged only twenty dollars for such work!" "Yes, " replied the dentist, "but this youngster yelled so terribly that he scared out four other patients out of the office. "

"I came in to make an appointment with the dentist. " said the man to the receptionist. " "I'm sorry sir. " she replied. "He's out right now, but. . . " "Thank you. " interrupted the obviously nervous prospective patient. "When will he be out again?"

"I came in to make an appointment with the dentist. " said the man to the receptionist. "I'm sorry sir. " she replied. "He's out right now, but. . . " "Thank you, " interrupted the obviously nervous prospective patient. "When will he be out again?"

A dentist, after completing work on a patient, came to him begging. Dentist: Could you help me? Could you give out a few of your loudest, most painful screams?
Patient: Why? Docor, it wasn't all that bad this time. Dentist: There are so many people in the waiting room right now, and I don't want to miss the four o'clock ball game.

A husband and wife entered the dentist's office. The husband said, "I want a tooth pulled. I don't want gas or Novocain because I'm in a terrible hurry. Just pull the tooth as quickly as possible. " "You're a brave man, " said the dentist. "Now, show me which tooth it is. " The husband turns to his wife and says, "Open your mouth and show the dentist which tooth it is, dear. "

A man went to his dentist because he feels something wrong in his mouth. The dentist examines him and says, "that new upper plate I put in for you six months ago is eroding. What have you been eating?" The man replies, "all I can think of is that about four months ago my wife made some asparagus and put some stuff on it that was delicious . . . Hollandaise sauce. I loved it so much I now put it on everything --- meat, toast, fish, vegetables, everything. " "Well, " says the dentist, "that's probably the problem. Hollandaise sauce is made with lots of lemon juice, which is highly corrosive. It's eaten away your upper plate. I'll make you a new plate, and this time use chrome. " "Why chrome?" asks the patient. To which the dentist replies, "It's simple. Everyone knows that . . . there's no plate like chrome for the Hollandaise!"

A patient asked the dentist, if it wasn't nasty to be all the day with the hands in someone's mouth. The dentist answered "I just think of it as having my hands in their wallet. "

A patient came to his dentist with problems with his teeth. Patient: Doctor, I have yellow teeth, what do I do?
Dentist: Wear a brown tie!

Anyone know the six most frightening words in the world??? "The Dentist will see you now. "

As the judge said to the dentist: Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth, and nothing but the tooth?

At what time do most people go to the dentist?
At tooth-hurty (2:30).

believe that the members of the dental profession are the only men who can tell a women to open or close her mouth and get away with it.

Cloyd went to a Charleston dentist complaining his gums had shriveled up and his teeth were falling out. After examining him, the dentist said, "Your mouth is really bad. Do you brush?" "Ah sure do!" replied Cloyd. "Everee single day!" "What do you brush with?" asked the dentist, "Preparation H, " said the redneck.

Dentist begging the patient: Could you help me? Could you give out a few of your loudest, most painful screams?
Patient: Why? Doc, it isn't all that bad this time. Dentist: There are so many people in the waiting room right now and I don't want to miss the 4 o'clock ball game.

Dentist to parsimonious patient "No, we give no discount for empty spaces when cleaning and polishing teeth Mrs. Borde!"

Dentist: "You don't need to open your mouth any wider. When I pull your tooth I expect to stand outside. "

Dentist: Don't worry. I'm painless. Patient: I'm not.

Dentist: I have to pull the aching tooth, but don't worry it will take just five minutes. Patient: And how much will it cost?
Dentist: It's $90. 00. Patient: $90. 00 for just a few minutes work???
Dentist: I can extract it very slowly if you like.

Dentist: Just let me finish and you will be another man after these cosmetic procedures. Patient: Okay doc, but don't forget to send your bill to the other man.

Dentist: There goes the only woman I ever loved. Assistant: Why don't you marry her?
Dentist: I can't afford to. She's my best patient.

Did you hear about the dentist who planted a garden?. . . A month later he was picking his teeth

Father: Don't you feel better now that you've gone to the dentist?
Son: Sure do. He wasn't in.

Fred's mother was on the telephone to the boy's dentist. "I don't understand it, " she complained, "I thought his treatment would only cost me $20, but you've charged me $80. " "It is usually $20, ma'am, " agreed the dentist, "but Fred yelled so loudly that three of my other patients ran away!"

Gerald: "Have you ever come across a man who, at the slightest touch, caused you to thrill and tremble in every fiber of your being?" Mabel: "Yes, the dentist. "

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