Jokes » Dirty jokes
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Why are condoms like cameras? -they both capture the moment. Why are electric trains like a mother's breasts?They were both designed for the kids, but it's the fathers who are always playing with them.
Why did Frosty the Snowman pull down his pants? He heard the snow blower coming. Why did the condom cross the road?Because it was pissed off.
Why did the former porn actor get fired from his job as a gas station attendant?Right before the tanks were full, he would pull out the nozzle and spray gas all over the car.
Why do hunters make the best lovers? Because they go deep in the bush, shoot more than once and they eat what they shoot. Why do men masturbate?It's sex with someone they love.
Why does a bride smile when she walks up the aisle? She knows she's given her last blow job. Why don't bunnies make noise when they make love?Because they have cotton balls.
Why don't women blink during foreplay?They don't have time.
Why is air a lot like sex?Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any.
Why is food better than men?Because you don't have to wait an hour for seconds.
Why is it called a Wonder Bra?When she takes it off, you wonder where her tits went.
Why is sex like a game of bridge? -You don't need a partner if you have a good hand. Why is the space between a woman's breasts and her hips called a waist? Because you could easily fit another pair of tits in there. Why is Viagra like Disneyworld? - You have to wait an hour for a three minute ride Why were men given larger brains than dogs?So they wouldn't hump women's legs at cocktail parties.
Wife: "Why don't you ever callout my name when we're making love?" ! Husband: "Because I don't want to wake you. " Winnie and Piglet sit on the bank of the river and smoke dope. A crocodile comes out of the river: - Hey pals, let me have a whiff. - Get lost, oh green one! - Come on guys, just one! - Go %@~# yourself! So what would you do? Well, the crocodile swallows Piglet and sits in his place. Winnie, inhaling, is holding the butt out to Piglet and suddenly sees a crocodile. - W-ell, it seems enough for you, pig! Winnie-the-Pooh is eating a roll. Piglet arrives. - Give me some roll, Winnie! - It's not a roll, it's a bun. - Give me some bun, Winnie! - It's not a bun, it's a bap. - Give me some bap, Winnie! - Get lost, you pig! Stop being such a pain in the neck! You can't even make up your mind! Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place. You know the worst thing about oral sex? The view.Page: 1 :: 2 :: 3 :: 4 :: 5 :: 6 :: 7 :: 8 :: 9 :: 10 :: 11 :: 12 :: 13