Jokes » Elephant jokes
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'We're going to play elephants and circuses, ' said a little boy at kindergarten, 'Do you want to join in?' 'I'd love to, 'replied the teacher. 'What do you want me to do?' 'You can be the lady that feeds us peanuts !' A boy with an elephant on his head went to see a doctor. The doctor said, "You know you really need help" "Yes I do", said the elephant, "get this kid off my foot !" An elephant was walking in a park. With each step he took, he squished many little ants. Upset, the ants began to crawl up on the elephant -- first his legs and then up all over his body. When the elephant started feeling all the little ants on him, he shook hard, making all the little ants, except for one, fall to the ground. As the only ant on the elephant hung on close to the elephant's neck, the ones on the ground began to yell, "Strangle him!!! Strangle him!!!" Bill:"My homework is really difficult tonight, I've to write an essay on an elephant. "?Bert:"Well, for a start your going to need a big ladder. . "
Have you heard about the elephant that went on a crash diet?He wrecked three cars, a bus and two fire engines !
How can you tell if there is an elephant in your dessert?You get very lumpy ice cream !
How do you fit five elephants into a car?Two in the front, two in the back and the other in the glove compartment !
How do you get an elephant into a matchbox?Take all the matches out first !
How do you hire an elephant?Stand it on four bricks !
How do you know that peanuts are fattening?Have you ever seen a skinny elephant?
How do you make an elephant sandwich? First of all, you get a very large loaf. . . How do you raise a baby elephant?With a fork lift truck !
How do you stop an angry elephant from charging?Take away it's credit cards !
How does an elephant get down from a tree?He sits on a leaf and waits till autumn !
How does an elephant get out of a small car?The same way that he got in !
How does an elephant go up a tree? It stands on an acorn and waits for it to grow. How to elephants talk to each other?By 'elephone !
How to you tell the difference between an elephant and a mouse?Try picking them up !
Is the squirt from an elephants trunk very powerful?Well, a jumbo jet can keep 500 people oin the air for hours at a time !
It was a boring Sunday afternoon in the jungle so the Elephants decided to challenge the Ants to a game of soccer. The game was going well with the Elephants beating the Ants ten goals to nil, when the Ants gained possession. The Ants' star player was dribbling the ball towards the Elephants' goal when the Elephants' left back came lumbering towards him. The elephant trod on the little ant, killing him instantly. The referee stopped the game. "What the hell do you think you're doing? Do you call that sportsmanship, killing another player?" The elephant replied, "Well, I didn't mean to kill him -- I was just trying to trip him up. " My elephants got no trunk?How does it smell?
Terrible !
Q: What happened when the elephant sat on the car?A: Everyone knows a Mercedes Bends!
Q: What is the pink stuff between elephant's toes?A: Slow clowns.
Reports are coming in of an elephant doing a ton in the highway. Police ask motorists to drive carefully and to yield right of way. Tarzan was tired when he came home. "What have you been doing", asked Jane. "Chasing a herd of elephants on vines" "Really?", said Jane. "I thought elephants stayed on the ground !"Page: 1 :: 2 :: 3 :: 4 :: 5