Jokes » Firefighter jokes
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A fire broke out in a six story apartment building last week in a near by town. A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette escaped the flames by climbing up onto the roof. When the fire department arrived they got out a blanket held it up and the Chief called out to the brunette to jump into the blanket. The brunette jumped. As she was falling 'swoosh' the firefighters pulled the blanket away and she landed on the street like a brick. The firefighters then held the blanket back up and the Chief told the redhead to jump. "No way! I saw what you did to my friend. " exclaimed the redhead. "I am sorry" said the Chief, "My wife was a brunette and she divorced me. I just don't like brunettes. We have no problems with redheads. . . . jump it's your only chance. " So the redhead jumped. On the way down 'swoosh' the firefighters pulled the blanket away and she hit the pavement like a tomato!" The firefighters a gain held up the blanket and the Chief told the blonde to jump. The fire was getting worse and her only chance of survival was to jump. "No I am not jumping. I saw what you did to my two friends. " "I'm sorry" said the Chief, "I explained what happened to the brunette and when the redhead jumped we were a little distracted. It will not happen again, just jump!" The blonde thought for a moment. "OK I'll jump - but first I want you to lay the blanket on the ground, back away, and then I'll jump into it. " A fire started on some grassland near a farm in Indiana. The fire department from the nearby town was called to put the fire out. The fire proved to be more than the small town fire department could handle, so someone suggested that a rural volunteer fire department be called. Though there was doubt that they would be of any assistance, the call was made. The volunteer fire department arrived in a dilapidated old fire truck. They drove straight towards the fire and stopped in the middle of the flames. The volunteer firemen jumped off the truck and frantically started spraying water in all directions. Soon they had snuffed out the center of the fire, breaking the blaze into two easily controllable parts. The farmer was so impressed with the volunteer fire department's work and so grateful that his farm had been spared, that he presented the volunteer fire department with a check for $1000. A local news reporter asked the volunteer fire captain what the department planned to do with the funds. "That should be obvious, " he responded, "the first thing we're gonna do is get the brakes fixed on that stupid fire truck. " A firefighter died and went to hell where he finds a wall of clocks. After seeing all these clocks on a wall, with his friends names under them, he asked the devil, what the clocks mean?"That's easy, each time one of your friends mess up on earth, their clock speeds up one hour. " says the devil. "I don't see the Chiefs clock anywhere?" the fireman says. The devil replied, "Oh him, we have his down in the basement, we're using it for a fan. "
A fireman and policeman died and both went to heaven where they were issued their wings with the warning that if they had even one bad thought their wings would fall off. Well, everything went well for some time then one day they passed a very attractive and well put together young lady. As the fireman turned to watch her pass his wings fell off. When he bent over to pick them up the policemans wings fell off. A man calls the fire department and says, "Yes, I have just had my front yard landscaped, I have a nice new flower bed, a new fish pond with a fountain and a new rose garden. " "Very nice, " the firefighter says, "but what does that have to do with the fire service?" "Well, " the man answers, "the house next door is on fire and I don't want you to trample my front yard. " A man who worked at a fire hydrant factory was always late for work. When confronted by his boss the man explained: "You can't park anywhere near this place!" After the fire-truck arrived at a burning building in a small Spanish town, the firemen observed a man dressed in a matador's costume prancing around on the roof. Four of the firemen held a safety-net and urged him to escape from the burning building by jumping into the net. He refused and loudly proclaimed, "I'm Fearless Jose the bullfighter who fears nothing, not even fire. " The firemen begged and pleaded but to no avail. Jose kept prancing around while repeating the same phrase over and over until the firemen got really sick and tired of hearing it. Finally, when the flames began to scorch his butt, Jose announced he had changed his mind, was ready to jump and then leaped off the rooftop. As his body hurtled toward the safety-net, the four firemen shouted, "Ole!" and quickly moved it aside. All of the firefighters at my station are quick. They're even "fast" asleep! During a big fire downtown the firemen were having a bit of trouble. A woman was stuck on the fourth floor with her baby. The fire fighters instructed her to toss the child out the window, under which they had placed a net, but the mother refused. Things looked grim until a tall, well-built black man burst through the crowd and shouted to the women. He said that he was a professional football player and that he could catch the baby safely. After a few minutes more of reassurances by the man, the mother finally let the child drop. The football player made a breathtaking catch, and everybody cheered. At that moment the man suddenly raised the child high in the air, spiked it on the ground and yelled, "TOUCHDOWN!!" here were these 3 Riverside City Firemen who always went bird hunting together and they always rented a hunting dog name Rex from a local farmer. Rex was a great dog and would always hold point and find any birds they shoot. One year they did't go hunting and the farmer rented Rex out to some Corona City Firemen who used him that season. The next year the Riverside guys went to rent Rex from the farmer for hunting but the farmer had bad news for them. He told them Rex was no longer any good for hunting and didn't have a replacement for him and to tell the Corona firemen they were not welcome there any more and that if he saw them he would probably shoot them for what they did to Rex. The R. F. D. guys asked the farmer what the Corona boys did that could be so bad. Well the farmer said last year when they rented Rex it all started off fine until one of the Corona guys decided to rename him. We ll whats wrong with that they asked. The farmer said they renamed him CHIEF and now all he does is sit on his ass and bark all the time. How many firemen does it take to change a light bulb?Four - three to cut a hole in the roof and one to change the bulb.
If - H 2 O - is on the inside of a fire hydrant, what is on the outside? K 9 P One day a boy was drowning in a near by lake. A firefighter swam out and pulled the boy up onto the beach and began CPR. A crowed watched as the firefighter frantically pumped on the boys chest. With great amazement water was pooring from the boys mouth. Each time the firefighter pumped more water came out. A short time later seaweed started coming out, then minnows, then more water started coming out of the boys mouth. The firefighter feared this would never stop. Just then, a paramedic arrived and quickly ran over to the firefighter and b lurted out. "Hey Chief! You better get that kids ass out of the water before you pump that lake dry". Q. A fireman had two sons. What did he name them?A. Hosea and Hoseb
Q. How can you tell when a Chicago Fireman is dead? A. The remote control slips from his hand. Q. How do you get down from an aerial ladder? A. You don't get down from an aerial ladder. You get down from a duck. Q. How do you put out a fire? A. Take away the HEAT , FUEL , OXYGEN , or the CHIEF! Q. What do you get when you cross a Fire Chief two Lotus Notes Gurus? A. FireWeb . . . . of course! Q. What does CHAOS stand for?A. The Chiefs Have Arrived On Scene.
Q. What does CHAOS stand for? A. The Chiefs Have Arrived On Scene. Q. What kind of ears do pumpers have? A. Engineers. Q: Did you know that the three wise men were firemen?A: It says they came from afir (a fire, a far).
Q: What is the first thing off the truck at a trailer fire? A: Lawn chair. Q: What word begins with the letter "F" and ends in "UCK"?A: FIRETRUCK.
Q: Why don't Deputy Fire Marshals look out the window in the morning? A: So they have something to do in the afternoon.Page: 1 :: 2