Jokes » Ghost jokes
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A butler came running into his important master's office. "Sir, sir, there's a ghost in the corridor. What shall I do with him?" Without looking up from his work the master said, "Tell him I can't see him. " A man was staying in a big old house and in the middle of the night he met a ghost. The ghost said, "I have been walking these corridors for 300 years. " The man said, "in that case, can you tell me the way to the toilet?" Did you hear about the ghost comedian? He was booed off stage. Did you hear about the ghost who enjoyed doing housework? He used to go round with the oooo-ver. Did you hear about the ghost who learnt to fly? He was pleased to be back on terror-firma. Did you hear about the ghost who went on safari? He was a big-game haunter! Did you hear about the sick ghost? He had oooooo-ping cough. Ghost: Are you coming to my party? Spook: Where is it? Ghost: In the morgue - you know what they say, the morgue the merrier. How can you tell if a ghost is about to faint?He gets pale as a sheet.
How did the bootician style the ghost's hair? With a scare dryer! How did the ghost song-and-dance act make a living? By appearing in television spooktaculars. How do you get a ghost to lie perfectly flat? You use a spirit level. Knock Knock Who's there ! Boo ! Boo who?Just Boo ! I'm a ghost !
One night, after closing time a barman is sitting at his bar minding his own buisiness, when a spectral hound floats in through the door. The barman, being an exceptionally cool kind of guy, asks "yeah, what do you want?". The phantom hound explains, in a haunting voice "I've lost my tail. . . . . . and cannot rest until a kindly barman stitches it back-on". At this request the barman stands back astonished and says to the phantom dog. . . . . "Sorry, but we don't re-tail spirits at this time of night". Q: How do ghosts fly from one place to another? A: By scareplane. Q: What directions did the ghost give the goblin? A: "Make a fright turn at the corner. " Student l: "Did you know that ghosts are protected by the Constitution?" Student 2: "They are?" Student 1: "Sure. It's in the Bill of Frights!" This girl wanted to marry a ghost. I can't think what possessed her. What are pupils at ghost schools called? Ghoulboys and ghoulgirls. What Central American country has the most spooks? Ghosta Rica! What did one ghost say to another? I'm sorry, but I just don't believe in people. What did the little ghost eat for lunch? A booloney sandwich! What did the little ghost give his mom for Mother's Day?A booquet of flowers.
What did the mother ghost say to the naughty baby ghost? Spook when you're spooken to. What did the mother ghost tell the kid ghost when he went out to play?"Don't get your sheets dirty!"
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