Jokes » Gorilla jokes
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A gorilla was walking through the jungle when he came across a deer eating grass in a clearing. The gorilla roared, 'Who is the king of the jungle?'and the deer replied, 'Oh, you are, Master. ' The gorilla walked off pleased. Soon he came across a zebra drinking at a water hole. The gorilla roared, 'Who is the king of the jungle?' and the zebra replied, 'Oh, you are, Master. ' The gorilla walked off pleased. Then he came across an elephant. 'Who is the king of the jungle?' he roared. With that, the elephant threw the gorilla across a tree and jumped on him. The gorilla scraped himself up off the ground and said, 'Okay, okay, there's no need to get mad just because you don't know the answer.' A man walks outside to his car for work, when he notices a gorilla in his tree. He rushs to his phone book and finds the animal control number, calls and asks them to send over someone who's a gorilla expert. When the man arrives, he is carrying a shotgun, a chihuahua and a pair of handcuffs. The man says, 'What are all of those for?' The animal control officer says, 'I'll climb up in the tree, knock the gorilla down, the dog will bite him in the nuts and you must slap the handcuffs on his wrists. ' The man asks, 'What is the gun for?' The animal control officer responds, 'If I fall first, you shoot the dog!'' Do Apes kiss?Yes, but never on the first date!
Do you know a favourite expression used by the Gorillas?Apesy daisy!
How come the giant Ape climbed up the side of the skyscraper?The elevator was broken!
How did a Gorilla come to be with Washington at Valley Forge?He had seen a sign saying, 'Uncle Simian Wants You!'
How did Gertie Gorilla make the 'Playboy' Calendar?She was 'Miss Ape-ril!'
How did Gertie Gorilla win the beauty contest?She was the beast of the show!
How did the dog warn its master that a Gorilla was approaching?He barked g-r-r-r-illa!
How did the obscene telephone caller get attacked by the Gorilla?He made a mistake and dialled a preyer!
How do we know that Apes are like fish after a rainstorm?They'll both bite at anything!
How do you make a Gorilla float?Two scoops of ice cream, some club soda and a very tasty Gorilla!
How do you make a Gorilla laugh?Tell it an elephant joke!
How do you make a Gorilla stew?You keep it waiting for three hours!
How do you prepare a Gorilla sundae?Your start getting it ready Fridae and Saturdae!
How do you stop a thundering herd of Apes?Hold up your arm and say 'Go back, you didn't say 'May I?'
How does a Gorilla become another animal?When a Mafia don hires a 'big Gorilla' to be his bodyguard and the big Ape goes to the cops and turns into a stool pigeon!
If George Raft's wife gave birth to twin Gorillas, would they be the Apes of Raft? If you put 30 female Apes and 30 male Apes in a bedroom, what do you have?A very large bedroom.
If you throw a great Ape into one of the Great Lakes, what will it become?Wet!
Q. Why did the ape run around with a piece of raw meat on his head?A. He thought he was a gorilla. (griller)!
Q. Why does Rilla get mad when he's in a race? A. Because all his friends shout, "GO-RILLA!" Q: What do you get when you put an experimental monkey in a blender?A: Rhesus Pieces.
Q: What's black and dangerous and lives in a tree?A: A gorilla with a machine gun.
Q: Why are gorillas so noisy?A: They were raised in a zoo!
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