Jokes » Spelling jokes
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"I gotta 'A' in spelling, " Tony told his father. "You dope!" he replied. "There isn't any 'A' in 'spelling'!" "Mah son's real smart!" crowed the redneck mother to an acquaintance. "He's only six but he can already spell his name backwards and forwards!" "What's his name?" asked the friend. "Bob. " "Please, ma'am! How do you spell ichael?" The teacher was rather bewildered. "Don't you mean Michael?" she asked. "No, ma'am. I've written the 'M' already. " A group of Texas A&M Aggies and a group of Harvard students had been deadlocked in a spelling bee for an entire week. At the end of the contest the score was tied and the judges had a dilemma. They told the contestants that each group was to quickly come up with a poem using the word 'Timbuktu. ' Well the Aggiess started laughing the minute the word was uttered but Harvard just smiled and prepared their short rhyme. One Harvard student stood up and for his group recited 'Through the desert all night we ride on camels walking two by two, Destination Timbuktu. ' Well the crowd politely applauded - they knew the Aggies couldnt beat that and the Aggies just continued laughing throughout the whole process. One Aggie stopped giggling long enough to stand and read the team's effort. He said, 'Tim and I, a hunting went, we came upon three women in a tent. Since they were three and we were two, I buk one and Timbuktu!' A Hoosier, a Kentuckian and a West Virginian were on a Hollywood TV quiz show. The host asked them to complete the sentence: "Old MacDonald had a . . . " The Indianan said, "Old MacDonald had a carburetor. " "Sorry, " said the MC. "That's incorrect. " "Old MacDonald had a flat tire, " said the Kentuckian. "Wrong, " said the host. "Old MacDonald had a farm, " said the West Virginian. "That's correct!" shouted the MC. "Now for $200, 000, spell farm. " The West Virginian thought hard and then spelled carefully: "E-I-E-I-O. " Can you read the following? Yy u r yy u b I c u r yy 4 me. Too wise you are, too wise you be, I see you are too wise for me. Can you spell a composition with two letters?SA (essay).
Can you spell a pretty girl with two letters?QT (cutey).
Can you spell eighty in two letters?A-T.
Can you spell jealousy with two letters?NV (envy).
Can you spell soft and slow with two letters?EZ.
Can you spell very happy with three letters?XTC (ecstasy).
Daughter: I will never learn to spell. Mother: Why?Daughter: The teacher keeps changing the words.
First witch: Here's a banana if you can spell it. Second witch: I can spell banana. I just don't know when to stop. Fred came home from his first day at school. "Nothing exciting happened", he told his mother, "Except the teacher didn't know how to spell cat so I told her" How can you spell chilly with two letters?IC (icy) .
How can you spell too much with two letters?XS (excess).
How do you spell "we" with two letters without using the letters W and E?U and I.
How do you spell a hated opponent with three letters?NME (enemy).
How do you spell elephant? E-l-l-e-e-f-a-n-t "That's not how the dictionary spells it" "You didn't ask me how the dictionary spelt it !" How do you spell wrong? R?o?n?g. That's wrong. That's what you asked for, isn't it? Interviewer: How do you spell Mississippi? Redneck: Which one? The river or the state? Little Johnny wasn't very good at spelling. During an oral spelling exam, the teacher wrote the word "new" on the blackboard. "Now, " she asked Johnny, "what word would we have if we placed a "K" in the front?" After a moment's reflection, Johnny said, "Canoe?" Luke had it first, Paul had it lost; boys never had it; girls have it but once; Miss Polly had it twice in the same place, but when she married Peter Jones she never had it again. What is it?The letter L.
School Doctor: Have you ever had trouble with appendicitis? Fred: Only when I tried to spell it.Page: 1 :: 2