Random jokes of the moment

Why do people go to bed? Because the bed won't come to them.

» Filed under Bed jokes

Q: Why are conductors' hearts popular for transplants?
A: They've had little use.

» Filed under Music jokes

Who is a vampire likely to fall in love with?
The girl necks door.

» Filed under Vampire jokes

What do you say to a one legged hitch-hiker?
Hop in.

» Filed under Car and train jokes

Doctor, doctor, I think I've been bitten by a vampire. Drink this glass of water. Will it make me better? No, but I'll be able to see if your neck leaks.

» Filed under Vampire jokes

Can I have a broken drum for Christmas?
The best thing you could have asked for. You can't beat it!

» Filed under Christmas jokes

What happened when the computer fell on the floor?
It slipped a disk.

» Filed under Computer jokes

Seems there was a young soldier, who, just before battle, told his sergeant that he didn't have a rifle. "That's no problem, son, " said the sergeant. "Here, take this broom. Just point it at the Germans, and go 'Bangety Bang Bang'. " "But what about a bayonet, Sarge?" asked the young (and gullible) recruit. The sergeant pulls a piece of straw from the end of the broom, and attaches it to the handle end. "Here, use this. . . just go, 'Stabity Stab Stab'. " The recruit ends up alone on the battlefield, holding just his broom. Suddenly, a German soldier charges at him. The recruit points the broom, "Bangety Bang Bang!" The German falls dead. More Germans appear. The recruit, amazed at his good luck, goes "Bangety Bang Bang! Stabity Stab Stab!" He mows down the enemy by the dozens. Finally, the battlefield is clear, except for one German soldier walking slowly toward him.
n "Bangety Bang Bang! shouts the recruit. The German keeps coming. "Bangety Bang Bang!" repeats the recruit, to no avail. He gets desperate. "Bangety Bang Bang! Stabity Stab Stab!" It's no use. The German keeps coming. He stomps the recruit into the ground, and says, "Tankety Tank Tank. "

» Filed under Military jokes

A system programmer came home from work almost at dawn and told his wife enthusiastically: "Tonight I have installed a new release of MVS/ESA together with VM/CMS and CICS/VS". "G. O. O. D" answered his wife.

» Filed under Computer jokes

A man drinking at the bar for three hours, yells at the bartender for another drink. The bartender walks over and tells the man that he has already had too much to drink. The man looks up from his glass angrily and shouts. "I have been drinking for 36 years and I have no idea when I have had too much . . . so how the hell do you know?"

» Filed under Bar jokes, beer, booze and fun!

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